My Brand New Blue Jeans

On October 16th I purchased new jeans from a store in Inglewood. It isn't often I splurge on myself, but once in a while I can justify passing up the day-old sale rack for the clothes that are still warm from runway models. And if there ever was one, this was the store to do it in.

espy - is a trendy new store with tons of cool items and knowledgeable stylists - one of which I paid over a hundred dollars to wrap my ass in brandname denim!

Yup. Over one hundred dollars for one pair of pants and I walked out of the store with nothing more than a receipt. The jeans I just invested in were added to the pile for the resident seamstress to hem. I was told it would take about 3-4 business days and that they'd call me when they were ready.

So, I planned my life around picking up these jeans the following Saturday. But Saturday came and went and no one called. I gave it a couple more days, but by then I was getting a little ticked off. What was the hold up? It was now October 25th - 6 and a HALF business days had passed. Hadn't she said "3 TO 4 days", not 3 AND THEN 4 business days???

Seriously? So what? Had some local billionaire walked in and they moved all his stuff to the front of the queue while my jeans got buried in a pile of the 'just doing my best to make it on my own' working people? What? Was I not good enough?? The nerve! I wanted an explanation, I wanted names, I wanted action!

So, I pulled up their website to get their contact information so I could call them and give them a piece of my mind! Unbelievable! I paid a pretty penny for those jeans and I wanted them. And I wanted them NOW damn it!

Alright. Enough is enough. That's it. I'm going to call and I'm going to tell them that I will be by to pick up my jeans today after work and by golly - they better be ready!!! And if not today, then tomorrow, or the next day, I would be there the MOMENT they were ready.

And then their website popped up in front of my eager eyeballs, my hand already on the phone... On the home page of their website was a photo of a line of naked men - well, naked save boots, briefs and touques - in front of their store. The caption read 'nakedespy'.

It was a fundraiser for prostate cancer. The first one hundred naked men to line up got free clothes for charity. Well, almost naked. ...underwear and touques.

Hmmm, I have a touque fetish - just like some women are interested in a man in uniform, I'm more of a, pull on a touque and it's 'HEL-LO Prince Charming!!' kinda gal.

The date read Saturday, November 5, 2011. Always interested in supporting a good cause, I clicked around a bit. There was a link to last year's online photo album, so I clicked on it...for the articles of course...

Just then my phone rang.

"Hello, Tanya? This is espy. We apologize for the delay, our seamstress ended up staying a few extra days in China, but she is back and you're jeans are ready!"

"Oh uh, ok. I can't pick them up tonight, or tomorrow anyway. Huh, look at that, I can't pick them up on the weekend either...or next week. Oh, darn it...looks like I'm booked solid until...oh will you look at that, I won't be able to make it until the 5th of November..."


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