Friday, October 26, 2012

Two-Way Traffic

There is a sign on the door to the bathroom in the office I am currently calling home, it reads "Caution, two-way traffic".



A door...a  part of the wall that opens and closes...indicates in itself two-way traffic, does it not?!?!

Please stop messing with Darwinism.  Firstly - and maybe lastly - two-way traffic signs should only posted if you are in TRAFFIC!   And only then, if it was one-way and changes to two when you might have been flicking the radio to another station.  Then I get it --

Warning: don't try to overtake the car in front of you without signalling/looking to ensure you are safe to pass when you look up from the radio static.

But on a bathroom door....come one!!!  If you can't figure out that a door in a hall indicates there might be someone coming out on your way in - I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you are the weakest of the pack!


Thursday, October 11, 2012

Thank you IOS6

People tease me –
“Tanya, can I book you for coffee in 2014?”
“Are you free for lunch in November?”
“When an hour for a pint opens up in your calendar, let me know.”
"I had to book this five weeks in advance..."

Hahaha.  Ha.  Ha.

Ok, maybe there is some truth to it.  My calendar is full of dots.  My life is dictated by 15 minute reminders.  I have to actually schedule laundry-time or no one ever stays home long enough to do it.  Waiting for the maid is useless, trust me…I’ve had to buy new underwear waiting for the maid...

A couple days ago I plugged my iphone into my mac and said Yes to the IOS6 update.  Beautiful!  

Except it erased my entire calendar.

My first reaction was: Upset. 

“Oh my gosh,” I thought, “where am I supposed to be tomorrow?  Hell, where am I supposed to be NOW?”

Then I looked at my calendar and saw that I was supposed to be nowhere, doing nothing. 

So I relaxed and that’s what I did.  And by the looks of it - that's my October!

Who says man is smarter than machine – IOS6 was the best thing that ever happened to me…I'm telling you it is a fantastic feeling to have nothing to do and all the time in the world to do it!


Friday, October 5, 2012

Easy as Pie

"Tanya, want to play squash on Tuesday?"


"K.  Court time is 4:45."

Ok.  So I just show up at the club and wait for you to escort me in?

"I didn't know you were in the escort business."

Well, technically you would be the escort.

"Oh ya right.  I do have a guest pass for you."

Cool.  See you then.  Oh and Prepare For Defeat!

"You won't win.  I won't go easy on you."

Nonsense.  I've never even heard of an escort who wasn't easy!