What's the weather now?

Every morning I check the weather app on my phone so I can dress appropriately - scarf, no scarf; mittens, no mittens; sunglasses, no sunglasses; etc.  For the past couple weeks, I check the weather, dress appropriately then walk outside only to find it is a lot nicer than I expected.

My phone says minus 12, feels like minus 18 - so I touque it.  Get outside and people are wearing shorts.  Now the weather in Calgary changes fast.  People joke that it changes every 10 minutes.  But even if that weren't an exaggeration - it doesn't take me ten minutes to lock my door and walk down two flights of stairs.  Yet, every day lately, without fail, by the time I put my mittens on and get out the door, the weather has gone from mitten-weather, to non-mitten-weather.

Again this morning.  Yesterday was nice out, today it said coldish, so I dressed for coldish - got outside....oh crumb!  I'm hot.  And not in the 'check me out, I'm beautiful' kind of way.  I'm sweating hot.

So I'm at work and someone says - oh it's supposed to be nice this weekend - plus ten.  And I think, this guy's on crack.  My phone said around the 0 mark, with snow.  So okay for end of february, but no plus ten....

I pulled out my phone and tuned into the weather network just to show him how wrong he was.  And in big bright letters it read - 5 day forecast - -1; 0; -1; -6, -11

I had done it - proved him wrong!  He agreed that what I said was just what the forecast read, but then ever so graciously pointed out that above the forecast, in big bright letters, it also read "Saskatoon"...


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So far so fast

Do you think that five years ago Mark Zuckerberg for a single second imagined this would be in the international news, “The continuation of the conflict between the different political forces and their difference over how the country should be run could lead to the collapse of the state and threaten future generations,” el-Sissi said in an address to military academy cadets.  His comments were posted on the armed forces’ official Facebook page.”

https://www.facebook.com/Egyptian.Armed.Forces

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12/12/12/12

I bought a condo...
 

I take possession at 12pm 12/12/12....
 

So, I guess the Mayans called it...the day Tanya Kostichuk makes a commitment the world will end.

 

 

 

 

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Time to go, but how to get there?

Car To Go has been introduced to Calgary.  Basically this is a shared car service.  There are hundreds of smart cars scattered throughout the main part of the city and with a valid swipe card, one can hop in the nearest car and drive it around the city, then discard it at a random location for the next hungry-to-drive individual.  They've been in operation for a couple of months and have collected a fair following.

Then silently they raised their per-minute costs.  It's not that they've only been in operation a short time and raised their fares, it's the silent part that gets me.  They didn't advertise the hike in rates, they merely charged them and then published the new rates in euros on their website that irks me just a little.

So I say, "Screw you Car To Go, I'm going to take the alternate - Cart To Go."

What's the difference you ask?  Well I'm glad you did.  First of all, there is a one dollar fee to unlock, then NO per minute fee to drive.  Second of all, I don't need an app for a smart phone to find a smart car - no - all I need is smart me to skip down to the nearest Safeway or alternate grocery mart, pick one up and I'm on my way!

See...there's me....

oh no, wait...there's me.....

Yes, I haven't grown much since high school...or junior high....or okay fine, since I came from the womb, but you get the idea.  And see there's even room for another passenger in the back.  Unlike Car To Go where passenger #2 has to ride in the trunk!

Yes folks, you've seen the future - Cart To Go!

Now that's Smart!


*Note: credit for the artwork does not belong to me, but to an anonymous, yet very talented aspiring artist.



(And just kidding, it really is a fabulously innovative idea!  Credit to the Car people.)


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Two-Way Traffic

There is a sign on the door to the bathroom in the office I am currently calling home, it reads "Caution, two-way traffic".

IT'S A DOOR!

WTF.

A door...a  part of the wall that opens and closes...indicates in itself two-way traffic, does it not?!?!

Please stop messing with Darwinism.  Firstly - and maybe lastly - two-way traffic signs should only posted if you are in TRAFFIC!   And only then, if it was one-way and changes to two when you might have been flicking the radio to another station.  Then I get it --

Warning: don't try to overtake the car in front of you without signalling/looking to ensure you are safe to pass when you look up from the radio static.

But on a bathroom door....come one!!!  If you can't figure out that a door in a hall indicates there might be someone coming out on your way in - I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you are the weakest of the pack!


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Thank you IOS6

People tease me –

“Tanya, can I book you for coffee in 2014?”

“Are you free for lunch in November?”

“When an hour for a pint opens up in your calendar, let me know.”

"I had to book this five weeks in advance..."

Hahaha.  Ha.  Ha.

Ok, maybe there is some truth to it.  My calendar is full of dots.  My life is dictated by 15 minute reminders.  I have to actually schedule laundry-time or no one ever stays home long enough to do it.  Waiting for the maid is useless, trust me…I’ve had to buy new underwear waiting for the maid...

A couple days ago I plugged my iphone into my mac and said Yes to the IOS6 update.  Beautiful!  

Except it erased my entire calendar.

My first reaction was: Upset. 

“Oh my gosh,” I thought, “where am I supposed to be tomorrow?  Hell, where am I supposed to be NOW?”

Then I looked at my calendar and saw that I was supposed to be nowhere, doing nothing. 

So I relaxed and that’s what I did.  And by the looks of it - that's my October!

Who says man is smarter than machine – IOS6 was the best thing that ever happened to me…I'm telling you it is a fantastic feeling to have nothing to do and all the time in the world to do it!

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Easy as Pie

"Tanya, want to play squash on Tuesday?"

Sure

"K.  Court time is 4:45."

Ok.  So I just show up at the club and wait for you to escort me in?

"I didn't know you were in the escort business."

Well, technically you would be the escort.

"Oh ya right.  I do have a guest pass for you."

Cool.  See you then.  Oh and Prepare For Defeat!

"You won't win.  I won't go easy on you."

Nonsense.  I've never even heard of an escort who wasn't easy!



:).